Everything You Always wanted to Know About 666, but where Afraid to Ask

This funny and informative little eBook is now available at Amazon for only $2.99. Click on the cover and check it out.

666-Cover-300x450-60.75kb

Here’s the short prologue followed by an illustrated version of the Table of Contents. Enjoy!

PROLOGUE

six six SEX!!!

Okay, now that I have your attention, I want to present to you this little eBook about a number commingling three naughty little digits.

666-mark-of-the-beast666 has fascinated, terrified and obsessed New Testament prophets, bible bashers, old-time religious end timers, and a pope-pourri of pontiffs for two thousand years. It’s been the Voldemort of numbers—that which cannot be named in decent company—from the Holy Land all the way to Hollywood. Arnold Schwarzenegger on the eve of the millennium’s turning got his glocks off, sick-six-sexy with the purported number of the Beast of Revelation in his film End of Days.

I also yelled SEX in print because it’s time to lighten up about this trio of sixes. They get in a lot of trouble and unfairly stand alone for the most demonic number in the world, even though they have company.

666 isn’t the only number of the Beast out there. The oldest surviving fragment of St. John’s Book of Revelation, found in Egypt in the 1990s, proves there’s more than one number upping the Anti-Christ, applying the numerical values of Greek and Hebrew letters to spell out the name of the Beast in The Book of Revelation, Chapter 13—Friday the Thirteenth, Jason style.

WoodyAllenEverythingSex-SpermAdvancing

The title of my book is both outright and an outrageous homage to that other sinful number we all think about, but are too afraid to ask on a date—sex. A study out of Ohio State University from 2013 calculates that men think about sex once every 1.26 hours—that is 19 devilishly horn-doggie thoughts a day. Women think of food far more often, clocking “incubus my succubus, buster” ruminations only 10 times a day.

No one knows how often Christians think about 666, but I digress…

David R. Reuben came up with a brilliant idea in 1969 to author an enlightening and entertaining book called Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were Afraid to Ask. Then Woody Allen immortalized it in the hilarious film by the same name released in 1972.

WoodyAllenEverythingSex-GeneWilderSheep

Now, I’m not trying to pull Woody away from blowing his clarinet with the boys at the Cafe Carlyle on Mondays to make us a Sunday school feature film. All seriousness aside, I do think it’s high, holy time all of us with an interest in comparative prophecy study “get down,” grin, and bare all the things we’re afraid to ask about 666.

WoodyAllenEverythingSex-LetsMisbehaveBunny

So reach out and touch some Kindle Reader and enjoy a quickie—I mean, read this quick and informative, funny eBook all about those devil-made-me-do-it-digits.

GrumpyCatwithJesus

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PROLOGUE

INTRODUCTION
The Beast of Misunderstanding

St.JohnWritingOvershoulder

CHAPTER ONE
666, It’s all Greek to Me

HeatWaveGaspingCatFish

CHAPTER TWO
Bar Code Beastie

CitizensUnitedBarCodeUSFlagCHAPTER THREE
Swastika your 666 and Smoke it

NaziFlagtoJihadistFlag

CHAPTER FOUR
Hexakosioihexekontahexa Phobia

SheepleBlueEyes

CHAPTER FIVE
Bugger the Rogue Scholar
With stinging Helicopters

HogueWBloodMoonbyCynthiaCampbell

CHAPTER SIX
Jesus Christ!
I’m Coming Quick

Jesushandface

CHAPTER SEVEN
The 666 Prophecy
Of Nostradamus

Cannon "channeled" these headphones to Nostradamus so he could learn to speak English to her. (I kid, I kid!)

Dolores Cannon “channeled” these headphones to Nostradamus so he could learn to speak English to her. (I kid, I kid!)

CHAPTER EIGHT
What was St. John of Revelation Smoking?

BeastofRevwaves-1

EPILOGUE
Sing Along with Me
A Doomsday Christmas Carol
In End Time

K

Here’s a sample of the first verse. Sing it to “The Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the first day of Doomsday my true love gave to me,
Hell fire for eternity…

Well, if I can’t laugh at Doomsday, what can I laugh at?

Read and sing the full song HERE.

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